On Being Single: More insights

So I did two things since my last single post: talked with a friend about my lack of relationship woes, and read a chapter or two in a book. And two things struck me.

One: When I talked about seeking a relationship where privilege is checked at the door, or at least conscious and aware by a man (especially white men), my friend said something that made sense.  He immediately said "oh, feminism" (not in disgust).  He followed that by saying: 'Feminism is meant to challenge and resist oppression, and it's meant to do that for everyone, not just the individual,' meaning, it's not supposed to be used on an individual basis (or at least that's how I understood it). Interesting. I'll keep his response and constructive criticism with me in my journey.

Two: Accepting a person wholly and unconditionally for who they are, like you accept a beloved pet (well, it made sense when I read it).  I got this from a book talking about love. There's more to it, respect, no obligations, no expectations, not being responsible for another person's happiness and them not being responsible for yours. Needless to say, I'll be re-reading and meditating on this because in retrospect, I failed at this immensely (with one relationship that seems to have more of a reflective impact at least). I'm given solace that I'm being shown where I failed and what I need to do to fix this part of myself in order to be happy (you know, the self-love/respect that needs to be intact and healthy moving forward).

I feel these are vital lessons to internalize and act upon. Love is a verb after all. And like Christianity, I think it needs to be shown more than theorized, conceptualized and said all of the time.  I knew I needed help in these matters, and I'm glad I have friends and family that I'm receiving this help from.

And it has helped a lot.