I'm a delayed-reactionist (self-described). So let me tell you a tale from yesterday.
Leading up to this tale: I agreed to hang out with my friend's toddler while my friend goes to school in the evenings. Both of Mexican descent (I'm pretty sure), and the baby is visibly (light) brown with big eyes and a head full of straight, dark brown hair. What a beautiful kid.
This whole hanging-out thing has been happening for at least a month now, and the kid has been wanting more and more to be outdoors, of which I was happy to oblige. In being outdoors, there are stares, and people, mostly white asking if the kid is mine (politely). I say 'no' and ways are parted fairly quickly.
Well, yesterday, after a workout with the kid, I was walking back to my office. I passed a group of young people, all dark-skinned (I'll say 'black' from here on out, out of diasporic inclusivity), hanging out in the shade (it was still sunny and very warm). When I started to pass by them with a large sleeping baby in my arms, here is what I heard. "Oh hell no!" "Oh hell no!" "Did you just see that?" I sensed they were talking about me, a person dark enough to not be mistaken for much else, with dreadlocks to boot, and the brown babe in my arms. In my mind I assumed their outcry (or as I like to think of it, a calling card for confrontation/a fight) was in response to the assumption that the kid was a by product of mixed-race mating (or me and a white guy producing a brown kid). My ire was immediately raised at the assumed attack (or outcry directed at me), but I ignored the loud hubub and kept walking back to my office. In my mind, my suspicions were confirmed when someone from that group (I could tell because there weren't that many people around abuzz, and I knew where they were located) said "Ay!" "Ay!" "Ay black lady!"
I didn't respond or turn in their direction. Just kept walking, and here's why.
First of all, their first response was that of hostility (Oh hell no!). There was no respect established, and their delayed curiosity (or delayed attempt to confirm their suspicions) already had me on alert (or should I say, my defenses were raised as soon as they did the confrontational battle cry).
Second of all, I imagine that if the kid I was holding was mine, they would not have had anything nice to say about it, to my face, or behind my back. It's bad enough they were loud behind my back doing the calls they were doing. The silver lining to this is, at least they do not believe that we are in a post-racial society and that race issues should be ignored. However, I do not agree with the hostility directed toward black women or the kids they choose to have, regardless of skin color (of the kids or the attackers). There should be a whole nother entry about hostility towards black men w/lighter skinned counterparts vs. black women with the same, about colorism and how it divides when all shades of brown should understand the root of oppression does not lie in who they choose to be with.
I just know that, if I were to have had such a kid (like my sister), the reaction will never be favorable, proof that college education isn't doing enough to teach people to be critical of their own hostility, and proof that there is a long way to go toward any sort of unity, liberation or anything of the sort. Especially if people are still into policing black women's choices and trying to make them feel more alienated from the rest of the black community then they already may be.
It's a shame my guard was up high enough to not give them the attention they desired.
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